OK, let me just explain that I’m not as hardcore about extra-curricular activities as some of those soccer moms are about soccer(thus, are named “affectionately” as a “soccer mom”), but I am involved to the necessary degree in my son’s extra-curricular activities.
My neighborhood started a much needed baseball league a few years ago. Much needed here(as in pretty much in every area in the United States) as for some reason my neighborhood has a problem with keeping kids programs despite our recent election and the fact that the same jackass who ran things before and consequently ended various after-school programs for the kids in this ‘hood as “there’s no money” for them....well, the kids basically have "nothing to do" in their spare time but they're able to take a lot of time and energy to "tag" their names, gang insignias, etc... on pretty much every object that stands still. Just don’t stand too still or long at a bus stop as you may be the victim of a spray painting with the gang "flavor of the month."
It’s fantastic and very upstanding when people take the time out of their busy schedules to even consider doing something noble as coaching. I commend all of those that take the time out of their hectic lives and devote a bit of their time to mentor, coach, volunteer with fund raising, organizing, etc...It’s an honorable thing to be involved with helping and mentoring children and getting them off of the streets and out of trouble, especially with something like sports as this will give them the abilities to make appropriate judgments quickly and help them learn to work with others, ie, working with and as a "team."
It helps if the organizer, coaching, and ump staff feel the same way.
...But unfortunately, that’s not the case here.
Don’t let me get me started about the first uniform pick-up day! It was like a Russian bread line in the 1980's obviously before the fall of the iron curtain. Boxes all over, items strewn all over the parking lot and no order whatsoever.
It seems that there is a slight problem with attitudes regarding the actual organizing and operating of said organization. Granted, I understand that this league was in it’s infant stage and I know that even if the league was going on for 10 years there would still be some disorganization and other issues that parents and coaches will bring to the table; however, there should still be limits in regard to a lot of issues.
Those issues are actually linked to one issue:
Attitude.
There is a really bad attitude going on in this league. And this bad attitude leaked into the "rule" book. I, unfortunately was not able to participate in the first half of the season due to medical reasons but when I came back, let’s just say a lot of "stuff" was hitting the fan.
It starts out that when I initially signed my son for this league I was under the impression he was going to hit off a "T." In case you don’t know what that is, it’s a rubber device that looks like a pole that sticks out of another rubber "thing" that’s shaped like home plate. This is to help the younger kids get an idea of how high they need to swing their bats to hit the baseball, and as a coach on disability, I’ve used the "T" for my older girls; and it helps! After my surgery the first game in this league I attended with my son I noticed the kids were pitching at each other, first for three strike-outs, then a coach continues to pitch until the kid either hits the ball or misses, thus making two more strikes.
Five strikes....hmmm....interesting. Can you imagine the White Sox having a five strike limit? The darn game would go on forever.
But beer sales would be up considerably!
This sudden change in pitching had a big impact on my son as I was practicing with him in our yard with a "T" and he was completely used to hitting a baseball off a "T," so when he was pitched at, he panicked. He’’s autistic, so sudden change really affects him, in a bad way at that. He was so upset about it he told me he hated baseball and never wanted to play again. By the way, he was five years old at the time and is autistic. Interesting thing is half the kids in his league are five years old. The older ones, the six and seven year old's are able to hit a pitched ball much easier as they’’re mentally able to adapt but weren’t on this team. Granted, it didn’t affect the others as much as my son but it affected them regardless. Then comes another change when a player that happens to hit a home run, it doesn’t count.
Hmm...home runs don’t count. Can you imagine the Sox doing that one?
OK, I know it’s unrealistic to compare T ball to MLB, but just bear with me, will ya?
So, when the player hits a home run and is cheered on and congratulated by their coach and team with the player's confidence all up there, there’s the sudden let-down and emotional disappointment when the player is notified that their home run didn’t actually count. Now I know you’’re asking, "why even tell the kid the home run didn't count so they're not disheartened?" Well, the opposing team’s coach and the ump mention to the team with the home run that it didn’t count, it affects them. The expression "little pitchers have big ears" basically meaning kids hear everything, well, kids hear everything! And you know the player heard that. When I was at that first game I attended the player that made said home run mentioned to me(sadly, may I add) that "my home run didn’t count." How do you think that made me feel? As a parent(and this isn’t my kid, by the way) it pretty much cracked my heart a bit. I spoke with the mother of the player and she was completely livid about this and she had every right to be as I too was livid about this so-called "rule."
She also pulled her son out of the game, and out of the league all together.
Then with the overall changing of rules here and there throughout games with both teams coaches arguing about rules which one coach follows, the other one disputes it even though it’s written in black and white and given to them at the beginning of the season....it’s exhausting and exasperating not only for other coaches, but to the players and the parents. And discouraging in regard to having the players return for another season.
And the refusal of a couple hundred first aid kits that were offered by a mom who was able to get them from work for free, and then the league not supplying any kits to the coaches for the entire season?
Now, what is with that?
Another situation happening with another team and a mother that is an acquaintance from previous coaching(I coached her daughter for two years) that had an issue with a coach on her son’s team. The coach basically got a bit too personal with her son when her son was upset about a play he couldn’t make, thus telling him that he was "over emotional and needs to control himself. What place does this coach have to make a hurtful statement like that to a twelve year old boy who is going through his own emotional issues with growing up, raging hormones, etc...and doesn’t need to be “picked” on.
It isn’t the coach’s place at all, in my humble opinion, to make any sort of statement like that. This coach is supposed to mentor the players, to encourage them regardless of how much effort he expects from his players. To boost their moral and make them feel good about being a part of the team.
This situation blew completely out of proportion due to the mom sending out an email to our league’s coordinator. He basically put this on the back burner. Well, word or should I say gossip travels like a wild fire in northern California on a hot June afternoon as this mother’s email circulated all over the league. It even reached several parents who are now acting like it’s some sort of "witch hunt" on this mother and her two kids, who are now affected by said actions. Not only does this coach limit the playing time of her son, but her daughter as well(the same sweet girl I coached is on the same team as her big brother). Even a few of the baseball moms have gotten involved with this mother as she made her way to the ballpark just to start trouble. Since none of her children were playing, she was evicted by the ump that apparently didn’t know the situation, or didn’t care. I took the time out to address the situation with the league coordinator in defense of this great mom but all I got were excuses; "The coach just expects a lot from his team." "He’s a hard-working coach that just wants the best from his players," yadda yadda. There was no sympathy, nor empathy and that really bothers me. Being a "former" coach I never got that emotionally involved with my team. As kids can be exasperating at times because they don’’t listen, pay attention, etc..I still chalked it up as kids just being kids and worked with it to the best of my ability. I also used a certain method that was exemplified in a great book I got as a gift, and I think every coach, ump and league coordinator needs to get a copy and read it cover to cover;
It’s called "Fair Play: The Book. Making Organized Sports a Great Experience for our Kids," by Scott Lancaster. This book became my Bible in regard to coaching and I personally think it should be assigned to anyone participating or volunteering any coaching position. The book mentions how coaches need to separate their exasperation and anger from "bad plays" and focus on why they’re really there:
...For the kids.
Now, I’m not getting any credit for plugging this book but I really feel that anyone that plans on getting involved in coaching should read it.
This sports program is an extra curricular activity that was developed to help kids become more confident, more skilled at sports, get them off the streets and out of trouble as well as give them the ability to not only learn how to work with team effort but to overall learn "good sportsmanship." Coaches should be proud that they are the ones that kids look up to, or can look up to for help and guidance. This can help a kid in life in the future, so why would one mess this up for a kid? How can a kid learn how to be a good...anything with a coach that displays that kind of attitude. Getting into the face of a kid that is upset over a play is not the way to get things done with their team.
It sounds like that coach is the one with emotional problems and needs help.
And you thought soccer moms had it rough...
