Juan's story 2

I was told by my cousins that I am a complete waste of space and oxygen for years.

I barely remember my father or my mother but do remember a tia of mine who was kind, generous and very affectionate. She put a lot of effort into me in so many ways as I recalled having ice skating lessons, trips to Old Chicago which was a huge indoor amusement park that was crazy fun! I just remember being in her arms as we rode scary rides and feeling the warmth of her bosom and her equally rapid heartbeat against my cheek which made me feel good, and special. The amount of junk food we'd eat, the night's staying up late even on a school night in the still warm evenings of September watching Johnny Carson and just being hugged, kissed and told "you ARE a gift, Juanito" from her. I remember her beautiful and long strawberry blond hair that had tight coils resembling tangled copper wire which she controlled either by ironing it on her ironing board or wrapping her hair in huge soup-can sized hair curlers that she bravely slept in several nights of the week. I never knew what she did for a living as, well; what would a little kid in kindergarten and first grade be thinking in regard to what their guardian/parent does, wouldn't you say? I just remember living in the moment without a care or wonder of what became of the parents I was supposed to have and why I just had my tia with me constantly. At times when I was picked up at school kids would ask, "is that your mother?" and I'd say "no, my tia" with replies of puzzled expressions, as I apparently were speaking to Anglo or Black kids who had no idea what a "tia" was at that time of our planet's orbit.

I recall the last time I saw my tia. I was getting ready for bed and she was having an argument with Jorge, her boyfriend. He was so angry about something she shouldn't have done, as he kept yelling "you shouldn't have done that" at my tia. After a lot of yelling and screaming and crying, Jorge finally left and my tia scooped me up...pj's and all, grabbed my shoes, my rucksack and my bear, her purse and took me to her sister's house. I remember the long drive to the northern suburbs of Chicago, passing all the expressway landmarks like the ominous buildings downtown, the Magikist lips sign that lit up the night and then the darkness that fell upon us as we left city limits. As I was carried out of the car at our destination I remember hearing the sharp clicking on the marble-esque pathway that led to my tia's sisters' house as she carried me hurriedly and told me as she rang the doorbell, "mira mijo; you have to stay with your Tia Mari for a day. I have something important to do and I'll be back tomorrow after school to bring you home, ok?" I recall numbly nodding at my tia as I looked around at the huge, imposing house and scary looking door that had a huge brass knocker that I always wanted to touch so badly. As I clutched my tia reaching for that knocker I heard harder clicking of heels from the other side of the door on marble floor that sounded like a woodpecker going to town on a redwood. The door flew open and there was my other "tia." My tia's sister who refused to allow me to call her "tia." I was to call her "Mari."

As I looked upon her scowling face, her jet black hair long and luscious like Cher from the "Sonny and Cher Show" she shifted her hip to the side and crossed her arms saying "so, I have to keep him overnight? I really don't want to nor have the time for a small child. I have enough kids to care for in this house!" She sounded very upset, angry. It scared me. I barely saw "Mari" and when I did it was just for family gatherings where I felt so tiny, unimportant and ignored by her side of the family ...which didn't bother me at that time as my main M.O. was to run around and play as long and as often as I could.

"Mari," my tia said firmly but in her usual calm manner. "It's just for one night. It's urgent. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon or evening, around 7PM latest. Please? Besides," she said, swaying with me in her arms and tilting her head to the side making her huge curly hair fall over her eyes. "You owe me, girl. You don't want me to let 'you know who' know about the truth, do you?"

Mari uncrossed her arms rapidly and stood up straight and had a wide-eyed expression and actually spoke so rapidly I almost didn't understand her as she sputtered, "you know you can't do that because me and the kids really need this house and our life style, and my car and..." She was interrupted by my tia who walked in the house right past Mari, still carrying me and laughing. "I knew it would take a threat to get you moving your lazy, fake queen butt. I'll lay him down, all you have to do is make sure he has breakfast, is dressed for school and taken there, ok?"

I heard the scary door slam hard and the loud clicking of Mari's heels on her marble floor sounding faster like she was running after my tia. "You be back by 5PM tomorrow as I have very important plans!" My tia made her way up a small spiral staircase and as I glanced back at Mari chasing us, I turned around to see us walk past several doors including a red one that I was forbidden to go through via warnings from Mari and my cousins. Tia picked a random door, went through it, flicked on the light and put me down on a bed that was fixed like a hotel room. I remember the hotel room we stayed in when tia took me to the Florida Keys after our adventures at Disney World and Cape Canaveral and this room reminded me of that hotel.

She started to tuck me into bed and Mari was at the open doorway with her arms crossed again and a very angry look on her face. Tia put my small rucksack on the floor at the foot of the bed, gave me my bear and sat at the edge of the bed caressing my head and looking at me saying "listen sweetie, I have some errands to run and I won't be done until tomorrow, so you be a good boy, listen to your Tia Mari, she's going to take you to school and pick you up and by the time you're finished with dinner, I'll be here to pick you up and we'll go home, ok?" I nodded glancing at Mari's angry, burrowed brow and scrunched up face then turned quickly to tia, hugging her.

"I'll be right back, mijo. Be good and we'll go for ice cream and a late night with Johnny, ok?" I looked up at her from my embrace and replied, "ok. I like Johnny." She laughed, hugged me hard and I smelled her hair which had a faint aroma of Chanel #5. I remember the bottle she always used to spray in the air with her walking into it. I always thought it was odd that she didn't spray herself with it but sprayed the air like the air smells bad.


She got up from the bed, crossed her arms at Mari and pointed at her and said, "remember, Mari. YOU owe me, so help me this one time and I'll never bug you again, yeah?" Mari rolled her eyes asking "do I have a choice?" My tia dropped her arms and replied, "no, especially since I never bug you with anything as you always need me to get you out of trouble." Mari sipped in

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said to both of us. She kissed me one more time before leaving. They both exited the room with Mari turning off the light angrily and slamming the door hard behind her, giving me a bit of a scare.

As I burrowed into the bed I felt scared, clutching my bear and pulling the blankets up to my nose and knowing I was probably not going to get any sleep that night. The room was quite dark with a tiny window at the top of the wall that was equally dark. No moonlight or city street lights to make me feel better about sleeping in strange and horribly different bed that even smelled strange. Not at all like the hotel I stayed in.

But nothing scared me more than what was about to happen in my life the next day.....