Football and autism mom's UNITE!

How do you other football moms do it?

I mean, just like the memes say, my fridge is empty, garbage is overflowing(why? We're never home!), my yard has been overtaken by weird alien-like weeds that I've never seen in my entire life on earth where I'm about to call Neil deGrasse Tyson to ask him if I may email pics of these...things and see if he knows what planet they may have landed from as yes; I've NEVER seen killer weeds like these... and I'm near AARP age! My floor needs mopping, my laundry is multiplying(dear God make our money multiply like that safely with lots of zeros at the end...amen!) at such a frightening rate but fortunately I don't need to wear my bathing suit as underwear...yet. My car trunk is a locker room, my car smells of man sweat, dog and fart, I need milk and bread constantly, I have coupons for bottled water and fast food all over my car, and I'm almost always a hair from an empty tank of gas. Plus, with all that doing it's "thing," if anyone talks smack about my son's teammates, I shall hurt them because they're my boys too.

Yes, I'm in momma bear mode constantly.

My fridge is sticky with maraschino cherry juice and ketchup that someone spilled as that's what they wanted for dinner...with a side of saltines....oh yeah! Forget that mom made garlic mashed potatoes from scratch and BBQ rib tips in the slow cooker....fake cherries and fake tomato paste with dry saltines? Very nutritious! Trust me, I've done the "meals that freeze beautifully" meal planner that's in old Women's Day magazines to plan a months worth of meals...but the kids? They don't want what comes out of the freezer because for some reason they get skeezed out with leftovers. They wanna be like the Heck family from the show "The Middle," eating nothing but sandwiches, no prob! Easy peasy to make a sammie with bread, or those there sun dried tomato wraps from Aldi, which are....fabulous! But hey, ya'll can make momma's life easier than usual. Eat that ketchup/cherry sandwich on that wrap. Just take your vitamins in the morning.

OK, then.

Then after all the ketchup dinner/football/homework scene is done, I have MY paperwork for my patients to finish, doctors to call to verify tests, blood results, RX's are filled....THEN....shower time for everyone...but me, so until everyone is in bed I too smell like man sweat, dog, fart and my own sweat. And there are so many TV shows I want to indulge in, like Ken Burns "Vietnam War" which is on PBS in a ten part series, and you KNOW with a Ken Burns documentary you have to clear out about 20 hours on your DVR to save it and have a binge fest to watch it, eh?

I'm physically, mentally and emotionally drained! And I need a Coca-Cola, STAT!

I'm just saying, eh?

Or in this case asking....rhetorically....ok, maybe not rhetorically.

How DO you football moms do it? Especially if your kids have special needs?

I do love watching my autistic son participate in what will be his senior year of high school football, which is a bit bittersweet....and coach IS playing him more often....but didn't at homecoming....and with it being hell hot outside that day, the game started when the sun is at it's peak....12 noon....coach felt my son was a bit too delicate to play as it was too hot. Hmmm...now coach knew I had my son's team there, IE, former grade school teachers, classmates, family members, friends, etc....and boy did they want to chew coach a NEW you-know-what, eh?

Alas...I do it for love....and I'm sure that's how you football moms "get 'er done."

Because we love our rugratis maximus.

And my heart is full.

It runneth over, actually.

Amen.